The Treachery of Anatomy: Candid Narratives About Transgender Bodies
- Izzy Doyle
- Nov 16, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Dec 19, 2024
"First paint a cage with an open door, then paint something pretty, something simple, something beautiful, something useful for the bird..."
-How To Paint A Portrait Of A Bird, Jacques Prevert
In Trans: A Memoir by Juliet Jacques, the author recounts her gender reassignment journey and subsequent healing process in excruciatingly vivid, sometimes gory, detail. She does not shy away from depictions of surgical procedures, and the emotional and physical trauma she endures as a result of her gender dysphoria. Though this is a story shared by many who choose to undergo surgery as a way to treat their dysphoria (anywhere from 25-35% of transgender individuals undergo gender-affirming surgery), Jacques' memoir is unique in that she weaves together a series of narratives from her present as a transgender woman with reminiscences of her past as a young person struggling to come to terms with their gender identity.
Finding a place to exist free of judgement or hatred is difficult for many non-normative identities, but especially so for Juliet Jacques. While exploring her gender identity in 1980's Manchester (and later in Brighton), she experiences unwarranted verbal, physical, and sexual assault, which adds to her already waning sense of bodily autonomy. Even as she finds solace in the Queer community of Manchester, particularly in the alternative music circuit, she still encounters many that do not accept her non-heteronormative identity. Jacques begins to lose faith in the safety of the community she had previously found acceptance in. Ultimately, she returns to music and views her experiences as a period of growth and change. Reclaiming her autonomy, both through gender-affirming care and by exploring the range of positive and negative experiences with her community, allows her to become the most authentic version of herself.
Gender subversion and androgyny have always played an important role in music performance. In Jodie Taylor's Playing it Queer: Popular Music, Identity and Queer World-making, she underlines the importance of performance and freedom of expression as an integral part of the Queer experience. Intentionally toeing the line between socially accepted norms and downright rebellion allows for a kind of radical nonconformity often referenced in the alternative music scenes Jacques details in Trans.
At many points in her memoir, Jacques references popular culture such as film, television, and music. As a music lover, she describes listening to alternative artists such as Joy Division, The Smiths, and Jayne County, and herself played the bass guitar in a post-punk group. While some of the musicians referenced are not Queer themselves, they have become adopted into her journey as a transgender woman, either through cultural osmosis, thematic relevance, or explicitly Queer themes. It becomes clear in the interactions she has with other Queer people in Manchester that music is an integral form of expression for herself and other members of the LGBTQ+ community. When attending concerts, she is free to express her personal gender identity, and meet others with shared interests who support her in this freedom.
Upon her first exposure to The Smiths via "What Difference Does It Make, Jacques realizes that artists like Morrisey were actually "...giving [her] a language". This perfectly illustrates the importance of representation and freedom of expression in media- seeing and engaging with various ways of being humanizes those who we may otherwise not relate to.
Music remains a necessary narrative tool in the LGBTQ+ community, especially for those who feel isolated by the heteronormative standards society imposes. By analyzing songs, musicians, and communities built around non-normative identities, we can learn to better understand and empathize with the unique struggles, joys, and challenges of being unapologetically Queer.
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